3:30 a.m. laughter ensues from the twin’s bedroom, slam the baby monitor off and go back to bed
4:25 a.m. laughter has turned to tears. diaper check. all systems clear. go the fuck back to bed
5:35 a.m. so tired of listening to children chatter that I get up. walk into bedroom. all blankets on the floor. shouts for candy. change both children and pretend I’m really happy for their sake.
5:50 breakfast attempt 1: hardboiled eggs with bagel. toddlers protest. won’t eat a bite. throw sippy cups on the floor and shout for helicopters while pointing to the TV.
6:10 breakfast attempt 2: Belvita breakfast biscuits. one bite taken, the rest tossed to the ground. pleas from mother are ignored. push shovels around and shake heads when biscuits are offered.
6:30 helicopter demands overwhelm the apartment. TV turned on. failure imminent.
7:30 nap attempt 1 since children have been awake for four hours. within minutes, blankets are everywhere, pants are pooped, and shouts for mommmmma are heard throughout the apartment.
And how is your morning?